Dreaming in the Times of Corona

Dreaming in the Times of Corona

Recently, I’ve noticed articles popping up in the mainstream press – The New York Times and NatGeo for instance – about the “weird” and vivid dreams many are experiencing during this time of the Corona virus. Most focus on the important aspects of how dreams function to help us maintain mental and neurological health, their utility in processing experiences and information from difficulties we encounter in waking consciousness, and studies of how groups of people in particular situations may share characteristic dream themes. Some, perhaps as an antidote to the lack of control we feel in our regular life, encourage us to program or incubate our dreams to overcome our “runaway” subconscious.

The New York Times article also mentioned the proliferation of bug dreams that many seem to be having. It made me smile because had one myself! Well, technically, the dream figure wasn’t a “bug” but rather a tardigrade. More about the possible importance of this dream figure in a moment.

But, what I haven’t noticed is a discussion of how, as we face the reality that our world has been shaken, our regular identities disturbed and our routines subverted, the unconscious may be rising up - through dream fissures in our shifting sense of self - not to steal our identify, but to lift up how it may be evolving. In addition, this may not only be personal. More importantly it may reflect how our collective awareness may be finding a new shape. Solving a problem of which we have been only vaguely aware. 

As a Processwork Diplomate and eternal student of the Tao – the way of things or path of the Universe - I am curious about the possible connections our individual dreams may have to the collective and evolving unconscious. 

Processwork or Process Oriented Psychology is often described as an awareness paradigm. Developed by Arnold Mindell and colleagues beginning in the 1970’s, it’s a form of depth psychology with roots in Jungian, transpersonal, and somatic (body based) sensibilities. It proposes the presence of a subtle “dreambody” which is both particular to the individual but also not. As an animate and evolving field of consciousness, the “dreambody” is vital and evolving.  

This larger awareness communicates through a variety of channels - signaling information to our “regular self” through movement, verbal and visual experiences, body feelings or proprioception, relationship and world events. In our nighttime dreams, this intelligence flows up through increasingly “dense” levels of reality from what cannot be spoken but only experienced to a dreaming layer filled with stories and figures and finally to regular consensus reality experiences. 

The various levels of experiences - whether perceived by an individual or shared by a group - are considered interconnected by something like a “quantum network” in which the personal, the cultural and ancestral as well as the planetary and cosmic are inextricably linked. This and the concept of deep democracy – in which all parts are vital to the integrity and evolution of the whole – are the basis for Worldwork where large groups come together and are facilitated to unfold and evolve structures seen as global disturbances.   

In these stressful times, I believe our dreams – when unfolded and brought into a context of greater awareness - can be considered a form of Worldwork - of developing our collective framework. From the Processwork perspective, individual dreams can lift up larger processes for consideration. So, your “weird dreams” may not only be personally revealing but also globally relevant.  

As with all dreamwork, the individual chords and themes that resonate for the dreamer are the most significant. Bear in mind that the “dream creator” is a less known background figure and not your primary dream identity. Within this framework, it is also beneficial to consciously encourage and incubate a dream that will “comment” on world and personal issues. Here’s how you can dive into this fascinating landscape for yourself. I’ll use my recent tardigrade dream in places as an example. 

Exercise

  • Upon waking from your dream, briefly note: the main parts of the dream, the emotions you experienced, any associations you have to dream figures, and the aspect of the dream that most fascinated or disturbed you. Put your impression in the first person to make them more immediate.

    • In my dream a luminous creature breaks through a membrane and drifts toward me. It is golden, translucent and glowing. The barrier it traverses parts before it. Somehow, I was in awe of this organism, not afraid of it. I also notice the way it moves as if it were floating grandly on an invisible pathway.

  • If you don’t remember your dreams, note your mood on awakening, allow your mind to become cloudy and “imagine” a situation that might have created your mood. Use your imagination and let that become your dream.

  • Now, begin to amplify and unfold the dream. 

    • Note the main figures and make associations.

      • I realize that I don’t recognize the creature but when I think about it consciously it seems like a bug! I get scared and think that maybe the Corona virus has invaded me. My conscious mind gets to an edge quickly, so I know I’m on to something. In Processwork lingo an edge is a liminal space between the known and unknown and is full of potential when navigated with respect. 

    • Imagine being the fascinating or disturbing character.

      • Since the creature is the most fascinating dream figure, I imagine becoming it - shapeshifting so I can move and be like this luminous being. It feels like being inside a powerful ship – majestic and natural. Everything parts before me. Wow!

  • In my case, a synchronicity happens! The idea of these meaningful – to you at least – coincidences were brought forward by Carl Jung and can be understood as being indicative that you are moving in an interesting direction.

    • I am introduced to a TV show with which I am unfamiliar. In one episode a creature called a tardigrade is presented. OMG, it looks just like the creature in my dream a week earlier!!! The tardigrade - also known as a water bear or moss piglet – is part of a phylum of eight-legged, segmented micro animals. In the show, it navigates the Universe through an infinite subtle network something like the way mushrooms are connected beneath the earth. And tardigrades are indeed powerful. Though microscopic, they can survive extreme conditions such as being in outer space.

  • Gather all the pieces together and sit quietly. Sense, feel or imagine into a familiar and stable place in your physical body where you feel most present right now. Breathe into this place, feel held there and then allow the boundaries around you to dissolve. Notice what you perceive around you through your senses and trust whatever that is. You have just shifted your state of consciousness into a more open and creative environment. 

  • Now, let the feeling-tone of the dream and of your associations to date flow through you. Freed from the narrow constraints of your normal perceptions, your mind – on the conscious, subconscious, and super conscious levels – begins to create, building new constructs and connections. A new tale of understanding begins to write itself. By weaving together vivid threads of experiences, hopes, and dreams, plus a dose of the essential qualities contained in the fear/frozen/angry places that live in our shadows, your place of “becoming” enters the conceptual world. 

    • When I sat with my dream elements, I realized that restricting my movements, having more internal time, and being in Nature during lockdown heightened my perception of and appreciation for the invisible networks that connect us. I felt more in tune with earth and cosmic rhythms than I had in a while. This felt majestic, powerful, and uplifting just like the movement of the tardigrade in my dream.

    • I wondered what the world will be like when the stay at home orders are lifted and regular life resumes. Personally, I hope it won’t be as it was before. I’d like to take a more majestic pace and follow the ways of acknowledging and appreciating the global interconnection the Corona virus has shown us. I’d like to be more aware of my inner sense of leadership and follow that into the future.

  • Since this new possibility is still finding its form, interact with it tenderly. Sit together a bit longer, allow it to move into you and become one. Imagine, sense and feel its qualities. As they wash through you, capture the essence as a gesture, a movement, body feeling, sound, smell, or image.

  • Keeping that seed within you, return slowly to an awareness of your body, and express that quality by moving your hand, drawing a quick sketch, vocalizing, or bring a scent to mind.  

  • Imagine just one simple way you will incorporate this seed into your regular life so it will grow and flourish.

    • I find that I can be more present with people in general and open to new ways of being in touch so I wrote this blog post!

Unfolding Everyday Magic

Unfolding Everyday Magic

I was supposed to speak at a conference this coming weekend but it was cancelled. I was disappointed because I liked my topic and wanted to share a bit about my experiences in hopes of suggesting ways of making life just a little bit easier and more meaningful.

So my lemonade moment is editing the presentation to create a blog post. Here is:

Unfolding Everyday Magic

It’s been my experience that if we can take a moment to slow down and take even one breath – often seemingly impossible to do – something fascinating happens. Because just beneath the surface of our everyday lives there is magic waiting to be discovered and it only shows itself when we take that one moment to shift our awareness and “notice.”

This magic shimmers in our memories of our nighttime dreams, in the surprising synchronicities that catch our attention as well as in our personal feelings and responses to disturbing community and world events. 

And, surprise! You can transform your inherent magical qualities into “superpowers” that you can – that you must! - bring into the world in whatever way is possible for you. It is at one personal and communal, both private andglobal in nature. When you access everyday magic, it stretches your worldview by tapping into your boldness to face the unknown with pragmatic curiosity rather than contracting without thinking into judgment and fear.

Where can I find these superpowers you may ask. Well, I have found that they are very close at hand in your earliest childhood memories and repetitive dreams.

Many schools of thought in psychology, spirituality, personal development and mystical knowledge recommend going deep within the self in order to discover and transform what disturbs you into the energy of pure gold. 

  • So, just think about an early memory or dream.  

For me it was a repetitive nightmare where I was riding on an out of control roller coaster. As I rode up and down, around and around all alone, I became more and more scared and panicked. Who would help me stop this crazy ride? At the time, my solution was to pry my eyes open with focus and determination and wake myself up! It worked! I woke up but was still scared and went to find my parents. 

 By delving into this dream again and again and mining the power of its symbols and hidden messages, I’ve recognize my tendency to be sensitive to my environment and learned to use the essence of that “crazy ride” to awaken to my power to cultivate inner and outer chaos into a process of awakening.

  • Then, find the most mysterious, disturbing or strange part of your dream, gather up your curiosity and courage and become that unfamiliar energy - that experience you identify as being “not you”. Imagine - really shift - into this experience, take the energy as fully as you can into yourself. Sense and feel that you become “it” while retaining a bit of your objective self. As you do, you can discover the inherent power of this unknown part of yourself and begin to distill and integrate it’s magic into fuel for your day-to-day life. 

Chaos can become power and focus. Anger or fear can transform into determination and clarity. Fascination with the unseen can fuel seeing beneath the surface of what you are told is real. Only you can say what is true for you.

 Delving into your own profoundly magical stirrings gives you irrefutable experience of your inner truth – your essence. And it has been my experience that the magic that each person holds inside of them in essential to the weaving our shared consensus and deeper realities. As you bring this inner experience into the world with awareness it becomes your superpower – maybe even the reason you are here.

Now, one more thing - and I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. You don’t have to be “big” to be essential to life’s beauty, diversity, and purpose. You simply need to be present. Remember the taking a breath moment we started with?

Forget being a (insert your favorite social media name here) influencer with thousands or millions of followers or a famous or well known person of any kind. No! This is a diversion in which the dominant paradigm is trying to tangle you. Don’t fall for it. 

Being present in your family, workplace, community or inner world as an independent, aware being is what is vitally important. Show up, bring your magic with you to the party and use it.

And finally because we live in a quantum world in which we are all entangled, by being present we can each weave together the strands of our lives, amplify their power with intention and offer this energy to nourish the planetary quantum field. 

When you do this in your meditation practice, with a simple heartfelt thought sent to the world, in your movement or sport practice, in whatever intentional way that occurs to you, the consciousness of the world grows richer and more diverse and magic shows itself in more wonderful and helpful ways than you can possibly imagine.

The world invites you to unfold your magic and let it shine!

Conscious Cooperation with Nature AKA Subtle Activism

Problems cannot be solved with the same mind set that created them.
— Albert Einstein

We are all unconscious from time to time - from believing that our perspective is the only one that matters to not having a point of view at all. Many have the unconscious bias that as humans we are better than - even separate from - the rest of the natural world. This sense of superiority and self imposed isolation devolves into ways of thinking that weaken our connections of all kinds – to family and friends, to those who are human but different from us, to the wider world outside ourselves and finally to a sense of alienation to our own inner ecology and balance.

As I read and listen to mainstream news, observe the world around me and attend to many of my clients, I notice that more and more, numbness and indifference are the result of this sense of separation.

Every day in our thoughts and feelings are examples of the power of this shadow world that clouds our mind and lead to beliefs like:

  • I’m only one person how can what I think matter; how do I count?
  • Money and power speak louder than integrity and collaboration.
  • Society – and my lifestyle in particular - depends on those corporations that are too big to fail.
  • The world is too complex – and screwed up - to be understood by the average person.
  • Young people are ill informed, self-absorbed and inarticulate.

It’s almost impossible to face this contorted thinking and heaviness alone. Sometimes I feel that I’m being sucked inevitably into vortex of some black hole.

Here in Central Virginia where I live, one struggle against shadow power takes the form of the Atlantic Coast pipeline – a monument to unnecessary construction and destruction of the environment in service of corporate profit.

Not only will this pipeline spoil some of the last natural forested area on the eastern seaboard – the George Washington National Forest - but also has the potential to endanger the headwaters of nearby rivers.

Helene Ramos, consciousness, spirituality, metaphysics, Seth Material, Ken Wilbur, Carl Jung, tarot, intuitive, intuition, reiki, energy, energy work, human energy field, reiki master, Reiki massage, Reiki training, Reiki certification, Reiki level …

The tree cutting began several months ago and recently the pipeline builders – Dominion Energy LLC – requested even more time to extend their tree cutting operations. While losing these trees has already been a blow to the environment, extending the cutting time would interfere with the migratory birds nesting season as well as the habitat of certain bat species.

It seems like a predictable grind…first appropriation of land and homes in the pipeline’s path; next trees are cut down, now the birds and bats are further endangered…what next?

For a small group of us this was just the opening we needed to spark another “outbreak” of conscious cooperation with Nature. What this means is that we gathered together with the intention of opening to the power and interconnection with the natural world.

Imagine linking to the web of mycelium in the earth, the unseen communication system between jellyfish or the interstitial layer of our own bodies to approach the natural world as an equal partner in achieving balance. It’s like saying: “We humans bring certain skills and talents, you oh trees, birds, mountains and nature spirits also have great power and experience. Could we sit, think and share together then combine them into some new spiraling, fractal and unfolding of infinite possibility?”

So for an hour we did. Sharing our individual perceptions of nature’s concerns, experience and advice with our own and then consciously weaving these individual strands into a shining and colorful tapestry of intention, which we then grounded into the core energetics of the planet.

It felt wonderful - a graceful kinship and dance of right relationship.

Caroline Casey, one of my favorite, wise teachers says that synchronicity only happens on a stage calibrated for equal and conscious collaborative endeavors.  That popped into my mind when three days after our subtle action with Nature we heard that the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) ruled against Dominion Energy’s request to extend their tree felling operations, requiring them to stop and honor their original commitment not to interfere with bird migration pattern.

It gives me hope and inspires me/us to do more in partnership with the natural world! Perhaps it will for you too. If it does and you want some advice, you can be in touch with me for some basic instructions on entering into conscious cooperation with Nature.

For a Few Days in Spring

For a Few Days in Spring

Each year as the winter temperatures begin to fluctuate with the coming warmth of Spring, a delicate pink haze appears on the delicate weeping cherry tree in my back yard. Her beautiful soft color shimmers against the cloudy gray skies that alternate with bright blue warm days - the blossoms so etherial it seems impossible that they will survive. But since the past two days have been warm, this willowy beauty has burst forth with cloud of color - glowing and bold against the sky.

This incomparable show will only last for a few days but it's a miracle of Nature that I anticipate with pleasure every year.

Travel Is Soul Food

Travel Is Soul Food

Nature endures at the ancient Sanctuary of Asclepius at Epidaurus

Phew!

Phew!

Things sure are moving super fast these days. I mean within the past week or less. I don't know if it's the energy of the full moon, Spring blowing in or the arrangement of the celestial orbs but wow, it feels palpable to me.  

With my clients, I've noticed schedule shifting within 24 hours or less. People are scheduling and rescheduling so that literally from one day to the next it becomes an unpredictable cornucopia of diversity which I have to navigate.

Health issues are popping up everywhere with seemingly resolved problems coming in for another round or shifting their approach to get through our defenses.

Just a moment ago I even saw a cardinal change direction in mid flight to the bird feeder as my cat and I opened the door to way into the yard.

Then there is the world scene where here in the US its hard to know what is happening from one minute to the next. 

So all of this to say that I've found myself a bit unmoored lately in heavy seas bouncing me and many people around. To create sufficient stability within myself to navigate the energetic twists and turns, here are a few things I've been doing:

  • taking a moment to close my eyes and take a deep breath before responding to a change or answering a troublesome e-mail
  • talking to friends about how they are noticing the turbulence and appreciating our connection
  • looking at and valuing Nature in all its wildness, complexity and deep beauty
  • dropping into the sensuality of the sensory world by reveling in wonderful scents, biting into the juiciness of a ripe strawberry or wearing my favorite soft sweater
  • digging with my hands into fresh soil to make a new home for a seedling
  • listening to the bird that just began singing outside my window
  • baking something from scratch - yesterday it was a quiche!

What have you been doing to stay present?

Simple Pleasures

Simple Pleasures

They're here!!!!

Of all the harbingers of Spring - robins, daffodils, clearing rains washing into crystal skies - my personal favorite is the blossom of the Dogwood tree. And lucky, lucky me, I've got two beautiful trees - one pink and one white - in my front yard.

Ahhh, and this morning after a drenching rain followed by the emergence of the sun, the buds burst into blooms!!!

I have no real idea why this particular form of Nature's beauty touches me so and it probably doesn't really matter. I could spin a story, look up the mystic correspondences, energies and properties that the Dogwood embodies but I'm not gonna do it! Instead, I'm just going to love 'em and revel in the simple pleasure and wild and dangerous beauty that Nature weaves in every moment. Knowing that my nature is part of this tapestry too.

Frequency Adjustments

Frequency Adjustments

Boy is it frequency adjustment time for me. And, no, I don't just mean adding more punches on my coffee loyalty card, though that is happening too.

What I'm talking about are the "frequency adjustments" that happen when I'm going through a personal shift and/or when the environment around me is shifting and I need to adjust. What's happening for me in the moment is a potent brew of personal inner movement, Nature's seasonal shifts and the dominant character of the collective environmental field. Sometimes it feels like I'm in a cauldron.

This happens to everyone by the way, nothing special over here, except maybe an increasing awareness that it is happening and finding a way to make room for it. But you too have probably noticed something like:

  • the environment at your workplace changes when a new company with a very different portfolio or business philosophy comes in and suddenly you don't feel like you "belong" there anymore.
  • someone in your family - perhaps an influential elder - is experiencing a change in their health and suddenly issues around health, well-being or death come popping out everywhere in the family. By the way, this often comes emerges through the youngest or more sensitive family members or through your own body symptoms.
  • suddenly it seems like you want to "fight" with everyone. The stupid driver in front of you sets you off, your partner is once again a clueless dolt, or you notice your least favorite political figure in everyone you meet.

So what can you do so you don't go crazy with nasty body symptoms (for me it has always been headaches), a sense of hopelessness or the feeling that some maniacal dream figure is stirring the pot too fast?

First, take a breath - or take a sniff as my Uncle used to say but maybe he was talking about something else. Just stop. Breathe. Come back into the present moment. You don't have to have a formal meditation or movement practice to do this but if you have some experience with one of those, dip back into it.

Second, reinforce your sense of presence. Continue your breathing practice or connect with a source of unconditional acceptance, like maybe your pet. My cat joined me in meditating outside today and it was awesome. But you can also take a sniff of a beloved fragrance, look at and get lost in the vision of something beautiful, or revel in the touch of someone you love or a texture that relaxes and refreshes you.

Third (sorry for being so linear!): once you're reconnected with yourself and feel more embodied, explore the deeper layers of the energies. Bring to mind the sense of what's bothering you about the "other one" or the environment.

That energy of the new company or the political figure for instance. How does it look to you? How does it move?, If it could make a sound what would it be? Become that energy so that you can experience it from the inside out. In Shamanic terms this is called "shapeshifting" or seeing with your peripheral vision or "soft eyes" because you can sense more that way.

Spend some time with this "other" and ascertain its essential nature. This will be a feeling of something non-dualistic that contains no judgement. Sometimes it will be beyond words. If so, bring the movement, vision, sound or feeling tone back with you from your inner imaginarium.

Maybe you need some of this energy to complete your frequency adjustment or just be with change. But it could also be something that you are evolving away from and are ready to let go of. And, this is what is going on with me...

I'm letting go of putting limits on myself, of being under the radar so I won't be noticed... and it's SCARY!!!! But so is keeping myself in the same old box because I'm starting to suffocate. So, when I explore the headache energy and allow it to try and push me back into my own head, there is a very strong "NO!" and a sense of wanting to push back against it.

Inside my imaginarium I'm saying "Nooooooo!!! I'm ready to "go big" even if "you" out there (or a part of me in here!) don't share my point of view. No more pushing me down because when I'm in tune with my own evolving frequency, resonating with my own experience, that feels right and I want to keep going."

It felt good to write this down and share it. To speak out if you will. Oh, and my headache is gone. But maybe that was just the coffee...or maybe not only! 

Are We the World?

Are We the World?

For the past three weeks to prepare for my research trip to Greece and hone my subtle activism skills, I've been leading group meditations. These gatherings were designed to unite those present, include the energies of Nature's subtle realms, and mix in archetypal and ancestral emanations. Once these forces were brought together, attention was placed on ripening certain seed qualities (we worked with clarity, courage and strength), deepening them and sharing this potent and vital force with the entire planet through the quantum field.

If and how we are all connected through what some call the quantum, dreaming or Akashic field is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. That's partially because of my Master's thesis and also the reason I'm going to Greece. To roll out that pilot study from my thesis to incorporate a larger audience.

It's also why I took a course in "subtle activism" last summer. I think of myself as a shy activist. With a recent exception to participate in the Women's March on Washington in January, I'm not generally someone who takes to the streets even though my convictions are very strong. My contributions have always been more subtle such as energy work at a distance through the quantum dreaming field. And that's what subtle activism is. Joining a group together in a real or virtual sense, creating a strong sense of coherence within the group and connecting with the larger global and even cosmic field.

And while there are theories about how we are connected, how it all might work, there is quite a bit of evidence that the connection is real and measurable. Check out the Global Consciousness Project for some fascinating reading. 

I wanted to test my equipment and the coherence of these group meditations so I took some measurements with my trusty random number generator (RNG) to check it out. Very simplistically, the RNG algorithmically spits out numbers with no discernible pattern which replicate the natural chaos of the quantum field. If something occurs in the area of the RNG which leads to a coherent pattern beyond 2 standard deviations, it is considered to have effected or structured the field in a statistically significant manner.

So what happened in the meditations? Increasing coherence! The graphs below show the pattern of whether or not accumulated deviation demonstrated a structuring effect during any particular meditation. Randomness, the natural state of the field, is shown by the squiggly line. As this line approaches or touches into either the upper or lower parabolic line showing 2 standard deviations from expected measurements, something coherent is happening to the field.

Meditation 2017 03 11 18 RNG-2.jpg

Perhaps we are structuring the field with our intention. Or maybe a resonance is happening between all the quantum energy being generated and information is being transmitted from the meditation space into the field. I believe that there is indeed a cascade effect where individuals make internal shifts and change the field which in turn acts on the individuals within it and changes them. 

The personal is the planetary and even the more, the cosmos lives within us as the ancient story of Indra's Net as translated by Sir Charles Eliot (1935) proposes: 

In the Heaven of Indra, there is said to be a network of pearls, so arranged that if you look at one you see all the others reflected in it. In the same way each object in the world is not merely itself but involves every other object and in fact IS everything else. In every particle of dust, there are present Buddhas without number.  

As Mr. Spock would say: fascinating!

Yogurt Synchronicity

Yogurt Synchronicity

I love synchronicities when they happen. It's one way I know that I'm walking on the path that's "right" for me either regarding a particular project or just in general. A lovely occurrence happened just now. 

One of my local grocery stores is having a sale on Greek yogurt. I don't usually eat yogurt but the display appealed to me so I stopped. A friendly voice said: "I hope I'm not in your way" as I reached to pick up some containers. "Of course not" I said and then took a moment to really see who had spoken. It was my friend "K" who I hadn't seen in a while. As we were catching up she reached in to her purse and gave me a donation for my Greek research trip which is coming up in three weeks. "I was meaning to support your GoFundMe campaign but I haven't had a chance with all the stuff I have going on, so here is something to help you out."

We talked a bit more and some other synchronicities showed up around the raincoat I was wearing and her sister coming to town in April. It was great. A gentle message from the flow of life - the Tao - that I'm on the path I'm meant to be on. Ahhhh! And this after a difficult day with research yesterday and now, a random donation right in front of the Greek yogurt display.

I'm leaving for World Work 2017 the big conference in Greece in about three weeks. It's going to be amazing! Over 500 people, Processworkers from all around the world, getting together to explore global problems of inclusion, marginalization, and issues of national identify and economic inequality. I'll be continuing my quantum field research there and am excited to see what happens! 

Please check back regularly for updates!

Clearing the Air

Clearing the Air

My colleague and friend Valerie makes custom essential oil sprays designed to support whatever changes you are going through. Today I ordered one (talk about good service - Valerie made and delivered it the same day) and I'm so glad that I did!

I've been circling the cusp of a big change for a few weeks now and feeling a little stuck. Since moving things along quickly is part of my primary identity, I've been practicing being "not me" which translates into taking a break from self criticism, taking things a little slower and being kinder to myself. 

And while I can feel things are getting ready to change for the better, today I had a tough early morning meeting. As the newest member of an established international research group, I'm trying to find my spot in the group by not rocking the boat too much but also standing for my point of view. During our discussion one of the  members was being very pointed and "strict" about boundaries around her project and not wanting my study to interfere with hers. She also wanted me to adopt certain conventions that I didn't feel applied to my work. I understood but I was also getting pissed off and feeling marginalized.

So I picked up I felt was the essence of her strictness and applied this seed of clarity to further discussions and decisions needing to be made. That helped me listen to the group's helpful suggestions with an open mind and still retain the integrity of my work. But my sense of marginalization lingered.

Considering the situation with an open mind and a kind heart, I was able to connect the feelings I experienced during the meeting to the bigger changes that are happening to me internally. Then I wrote to Valerie, gave her an overview of my process and ordered the spray. This custom elixir combines Helichrysum, Myrrh, Roman Chamomile and Rose Absolute in an mixture intuitively designed just for me. It also came with a personal message from the deep wisdom field.

After picking it up I went up to my office, got comfortable, sprayed the elixir into my energy field and dropped into meditation. Right away, I could feel my luminous field begin to clear and shift. Then I fell asleep. When I awoke about an hour later, I felt renewed, almost as if layers of old scar tissue had healed all at once. 

Now that's magic!